Cont'd... (Method)

Well, I promised the full explanation of thorough pill extraction, so please see below...

I will be documenting my Christmas preparations for you, my adoring fans, in the coming days, so stay posted, always and fairyever.

Method:

1. When the ball of peanut butter is presented, grip it with your teeth. DO NOT let the ball touch your tongue! Even the lightest smack of peanut butter will send you into an uncontrollable licking fit that will inevitably end in a taste disaster. Control is key.
2. With the ball firmly gripped, tip over the potted plant [if your Mummi doesn't have a REAL potted plant, you will have to be creative]. Put lots of force into it so that the spread of dirt is as wide and long as possible. For pill extraction to be successful, it must take your owner at least six minutes to clean up the mess [diagram not shown here].
3. While your owner is distracted with the plant, drop the ball on a clean surface. Kitchen or bathroom tiles work best. Spread the peanut butter in a straight line with your paw until the pill is revealed. Don't worry about peanut butter getting stuck in your paw. It makes for an excellent licking experience later [diagram not shown here].
4. Again, using only your teeth, carefully pick up the pill. Drop the pill into the warm water and vigorously splash the water until it is completely dissolved. DO NOT dissolve a pill in your water bowl as the taste may embed itself on the lining and permanently ruin future drinks for you. Toilets are ideal for dissolving pills since the water supply is regularly flushed, but pools and hot tubs work, as well.

Dissolving the pill is essential to the process, as it is the only way to ensure your owner won't try to give it to you again. Simply hiding the pill allows for the possibility of your owner finding it and making you ingest it without the aid of peanut butter. The pill must be destroyed. After you've accomplished this final step, return to your peanut butter spread and enjoy.